you will always miss me


you will always miss me, I know that.

you will try to convince yourself this fire between us died

every time you think of me

but deep in the back, of those dusty corners of your heart

you will always know I miss you too

My lasting hope is that all this missing

will turn into a brave man learning to leave his heart supple

and be in love.

But I know fairytales don’t happen everyday….


Why I won’t be a “Netflix and chill” girl



Why I won’t be a “Netflix and chill” girl

Elvis wondering if you’re lonesome tonight is a thing of the past. These days all I can seem to get out of a “man” is “wanna come watch some Netflix and order pizza”. Excuse me if I’m wrong but isn’t a “date” something like dinner and a movie….OUT? What happened to the courting of a woman? Am I just not one of the millions of girls who will do it anyways?

What happens when I agree to your less than perfect date night:

You think I’m easy

Easy going yes, I’m a lot of laughs and witty comebacks but I am not a easy lay. Even if I want to have sex with you, you need to show me you have the ability to treat me like a woman.

It tells me a lot about the type of man I’m interested in

If all of his relationships start with “Netflix and chill” nights what does that say about him? He wants instant gratification. He already doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t seem to want to put in the work right from the bat so why would I continue on? What is later going to look like?   Now I want him to surprise me with flowers and dinner? Why? You didn’t need it in the beginning so now he thinks you are so easy going that he never has to do a thing for you. This is not the impression I want to portray with my new date.

I know you already don’t respect me

If he doesn’t have enough initiative to take you out, why move things forward? If all I’m good for from day one is a movie and cuddles on a couch, which he wants to lead to sex, than what else is there to look for? A man who respects you is going to try to impress you because you are a lady. You are what he wants, he sees potential in you, and most importantly he respects you.

I am just like every other girl

No, I’m not. I refuse to be the easy going “sure I’ll come cuddle on your couch and hell I’m into you enough why not let things go to sex” kind of woman on a first or second date. Lets be honest, if I was would you be that into me? Probably not, I stand out and you like that, if you truly have interest in me you’ll want to impress me.

He wins the chase

There’s nothing more enthralling and exciting than the chase. Guys love a good chase, you’re not easy and damn that’s sexy when it comes down to someone who likes you. You won’t lose him by not agreeing to a Netflix and chill night unless he truly didn’t like you to begin with. If anything you up the anti and he’s preparing his next date idea. Which I promise will be ten times better than a “Netflix and chill night”

Gentlemen we know life is expensive, if all you can afford is a ten dollar night so be it. Ice cream is currently going for $3.99 a scoop at local ice cream shops. Ice cream and a walk around a park would be a much sweeter way to get to know someone and a lot more tactful than Netflix. So guys, please stop with the cheesy movie nights at home on date one or two. Save that for down the road a bit, it’ll feel more special then. We all know, women love to feel special. Plus consider it a bonus, the crazy date you had, doesn’t know where you live now.


I felt every inch of him crash against my soul, my heart, my skin…over and over like a relentless child….Incapable of uttering his thoughts…his touch, his touch, could drown my soul at each and every sunset. A ocean, he is the calming, mysterious, ever alluring body of saltwater I can’t step out of. 

Rainy days


…I love rainy days, its a incredibly calming beauty, the mind is surrounded in complete peace as if with each drop on my skin I am put a little more at ease. Sad? I suppose I’m okay with that too. am I not a lil more content in some of my saddest thoughts when I am sharing them with you? And you are just as sad and beautiful as this day. It’s almost as if my mind is allowed to wander free because you feel the rain the same as me

Getting older


Part of me loves getting older. My understanding deepens. I can see what connects and put two and two together more frequently. You can integrate your past into your present. You start knowing what you want. You find yourself, begin doing things that make yourself happy. You can see the beauty in others a little more easily. You can feel and recognize connections with people. But the most rewarding part of growing older is growing closer to family and friends. Ones that really would drop a lot to here you cry about your messy life. I can’t fully describe with any combination of the 26 letters in the alphabet how beautiful it is to have some amazing people in your life. How important it is to have someone who understands the tears running down my face. How wonderful it is to have a person to laugh with and create memories with. Some of my friends are starting families and I love seeing them so happy when they find out their expecting or if it’s a girl or a boy. Co workers become your pain in the butt family. You see that mom and dad really did look out for you and not only that, they’re STILL looking out for you. Grandmas cooking is truly the best. And if you can find someone who wants to get to know all these important people in your life, then you are extremely blessed. Find and appreciate the amazing people in your life and rid yourself of the negativity and you might find that getting older isn’t all that terrible. I am so thankful for all the amazing people I have in my life who have surrounded me with love, words could never fully express that enough. This is what I’ve always wanted. Here is where I’ve always wanted to be.




I have this incredible yearning for someone who’s been hurt, really truly hurt… Adore would never be a adequate word for the feeling I have for this kind of person. It gives them so much life! They feel and think so deeply after their journey thru immense pain…. It’s incredible what you can learn from these type of people if you listen… What you can feel with their touch… They’ve known defeat and struggle and they’ve been at the brink of a disastrous storm swirling inside them thrusting them to a place it’s difficult for anyone who hasn’t felt this way to understand….Ahh!! Passion consumes their entire life! Can I tell you how rare it is to find someone who can handle a incredibly low point without causing a larger storm ? So lets get tipsy and talk. Cry, laugh, scream what hurts you….let me in. It’s hard not to fall in love with someone who has once been in a very dark place… It’s hard not to feel something intense for someone who allows you to enter their heart, soul, and mind….truly.



Dreaming of beach living. To experience the peace and tranquility of yoga on a windy, warm day. Craving the alone time and clear mind, sun kissed skin.